Life Sucks...And Then You Write...

This is going to be two posts in one. A buy one get one free, except we don't charge for these magnificent words of wisdom...but that is an idea...

The great thing about being a writer is: it's an excellent source for venting. The quote on my blog site is, "by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." Sylvia Plath wrote that. I have no idea who she is, and I should probably google her, but isn't she right?

If you have that wonderful over active imagination, any single moment in your life - good or bad - can become the next best thing on the book shelf. But you also have to have the guts to do it and just get over yourself.

Isn't that easier said than done?

I'm a big chicken. I love to write. I write all the time but up until I joined this fabulous group we now call THE SPANKSTERS, I never, ever let anyone read a single word I wrote. Well, that's if you don't count the sickening poetry my BFF and I wrote in high school. I can show you that anytime, if you need a good laugh. I didn't want anyone to read all the other stuff because, what if they didn't like it? What if they laughed at these things that had become so personal to me? What if they didn't - eek - get it? Get me?

But here's the thing, someone has to read it sometime. Someone has to give you their opinion so you know if your getting it right. That's where the guts part comes into play. I lived in my own little writing world until one day I realized, I only had me and my overactive imagination to tell me it was good, or that it sucked ass and I shouldn't quit my day job. That's when I found DARA and went to my first conference. Then a short while later, Angela (at least I'm pretty sure it was her) sent out the one email on the loop that I read about forming a critique group. And now I have this wonderful group of women that I can't imagine not having in my writing world. Everyone one of us is unique with our writing styles and I have learned so much - from the correct use of ... to all the different ways to use/say the word 'cock'. Okay, that's just the funny stuff, but in the two years or so we have been together, I see a difference in my writing. I've gotten over my chicken lily livered ways and look forward to every reply email that has suggestions or rewrites or grammar errors that probably has Christie grinding her pearly whites...but it's all so very appreciated.

2009 in a new year. A new beginning for all of us. A time to layout some serious goals and whack that freaking crap-o-la out of them. WE GOT THIS!!! Karilyn's recent wonderful oh-my-god she's getting published news, is such an inspiration. It made it so real to me, so within our reach. WE GOT THIS!!!

Okay, part deux. I recently became addicted to facebook. This is a result of a friend calling me and laughing hysterically. I won't go into details, because I don't like to hurt peoples feelings, but I got logged in and youtube was replaced by looking at high school chums and what they are doing now. That's not really my point, but it leads up to it.

I'm a journaler (is that a word?). I've kept a journal since I was probably about twelve. So, with this influx of high school memories, I pulled those old volumes out and began to weep from laughing so hard. Being a teenager really sucked if what I wrote is any indication. Seriously, I don't recall being so melodramatic but there it is...all written out for me to see. I even found tucked in between the pages the phone number of the first boy I loved. In his first grade hand writing...even though he was seventeen when he wrote it. (take that jackass!) Sorry that just felt good.

I started reading in the journal that captured my 16th, 17th and 18th years. Oh, Lord what good times that was. If I could get a publisher to read this, I know they'd buy it and publish it as, "Yeah, I was 16 once too." It could be a guide to teenagers when they hear that line from their mother. I know I heard it. Some of my favorite dramatic moments are outlined below.

- my mother did say to me, "You don't know what love is." This was after she told me that I was no longer allowed see the juvenile delinquent I L-O-V-E-D 4-EVER. Turns out...she might have been right. But don't tell her I said that.

- "Why can't I just get over him?" This said about above mentioned idiot, the same entry goes on to say I've been seeing someone else. Hmmmm.

- "Like the song says, there's a danger in loving somebody too much." Yes, yes. I did say that.

- "I'm so alone." This entry then goes on to talk about how I'd done this with that person and that with this other person and how I had plans to hang out with someone else. Yeah, I was sooooo alone.

- "Whatever, he's young anyway." This said about a boy that was maybe, 6 months younger than me and about a foot and 100 lbs heavier than me. Nevermind this comment came from him pissing me off. So there! I was very mature for my age...

Oh, I could go on for days. It's comedy gold those old volumes of my life.

Which brings me back to the title, life does suck sometimes but you write it down, you get it out then you look back at it 15 years later and laugh. Because everything is life is writable. EVERYTHING.

Even mean boys that tear your heart out and stomp on it in front of his friends...hey, I'm not bitter. Mostly because I'm bigger than that but maybe a little because I know how his life turned out...hehehe.