where's my ship?

yesterday i had a million topics i wanted to write about, or rather rant about, but today i feel a bit like a space cadet coasting through the morning sans much sleep. yesterday i could've written a dissertation on my intense dislike of the USPS and how i believe they are illiterate pirates. i could've written about how senior citizens seem to revert to infantile tendencies. i could've written about how frustrating it is to pick up a hard cover book by a past favorite author only to realize within the first 10 pages that he has broken several "no-no's" i have been taught at writer conferences on craft. but, yesterday is yesterday and today i am in la-la land as a little man is lying on the floor of my office waving his arms and legs. since i am not babylingual, i do not know what he is saying ... but i can likely figure most things out. anyway, i have one story i am in the middle of writing, another one i am trying to edit for the gabillionth time, only i'm finding myself - loving the f word today - frustrated in the path to publication. not a bad frustration - just a frustrated frustration that you get close to having your finger on the nail only to have it slide off as if someone has laced it with butter. one day you think you just need to find an editor, the next day you think you need to find an agent ... depending on the market, you may have to go to a conference just to communicate with either or - and the closest conference may be states away. and i go back to the crappy book i just started reading that makes me scratch my head - how did it get published? the first six pages were on the setting of the story - a U.S. city. sorry, i got bored after one page, and since i've been to this city, i really didn't need all the background info. it's just frustrating to keep up with the changing market, to do all the research, then add on top of that the craft itself of writing and editing ....

but

it's what i love. guess i'm allowed a lazy day, especially after a night sans sleep, but i know i'll have to buckle down tomorrow, or the next day, and do some work. one thing i have learned is that this road is a slow-traveling one and writers must have patience. i keep telling myself that there must be the mother ship of all deals out there for me because i have been patient a long time.

here's till my ship comes in ...

up in my grill

i have discovered, not recently, that personal space is a phenomenon, when it comes to me. where to start. first of all, let me preface this blog with the fact that i am only child. i am also a writer, which means i tend to have introverted tendencies. so, i am quite comfortable being alone. in fact, i revere it daily.

so, let me tell you while i am beguiled and perplexed about my personal space, or lack thereof.

scenario #1
when i go to the gym, i make it a point to find a machine where no one else is next to. why? i will tell you why. most chicks and dudes that go to my gym are not there to work out. how do i know this? well, when a chick comes in wearing freshly applied makeup with her flat-ironed hair down, you figure it out. but, this does not bother me, much. what does bother me is that they talk on their cell phones while walking on the stairmaster! and i don't mean like taking a quick emergency call - i mean they have 30-minute conversations at full-voice volume! seriously. but here is the phenomenon - there could be 50 open treadmills - i am not exaggerating on that number - and excessive chatty cell-phone chick comes and gets right next to me. why? there are like 49 open treadmills! a lot of times i take a book with me to read and i also wear my ipod, so i'm trying real hard to block out all the huffing noises people make when they run or whatever, then here comes charlotte-chats-a-lot and i'm wondering why - why does she feel the need to be all up in my grill when i'm clearly trying to multitask by reading and exercising? at that moment my grill should be seen as a public library. shhh!

scenario #2
public bathrooms. picture six stalls. let's say i walk in and the entire bathroom is empty. which stall do i go into? i go into stall number three - smack dab in the middle. that makes me think my odds of the next person who comes in and spreading out is pretty good. WRONG! it always happens. someone comes and gets right beside me and it never fails - they are not there for a short pit stop. so i have to rush to get out of there or else i gag.

scenario #3
there is this lady. i'm not saying who she is or where i know her from or when this happens, but oh my gahhhhhhhhhhhh! she is all up in my grill and then some. i get that she just doesn't get that it's way over the border too close to my face. in fact, sometimes i wonder if she is in need of a hug because why else would someone get so close to me? i know what you're thinking, but no, she is married. to a man. it just makes me very uncomfortable because the chances of getting spit upon are tremendously increased as well as the likelihood of me smelling metallica breath.

i'm not sure what this invasion of personal space is all about. it's not my imagination. it happens every day. maybe i have some rockin' pheromones? maybe people see me as a challenge - "ooh, that girl's reading a book, i bet she'd find my conversation much more interesting." or maybe ...

people
people who need people
are the most annoying people in the world

just kidding! i love people. not the barbra streisand song, but i love barbra streisand and i love people, as in a large quantity of individuals. while i love people, i just don't want to listen to wah wah wah, hear their grodie bathroom, no-shame noises, or be able to smell their breath up close and personal.

so, if you have any clue why my grill seems to attract bugs - get it, bugs - lemme know. just don't get too close to my face when you tell me.

disclaimer: no member of the spanksters has ever gotten too close to my grill, so no worries. you guys are totally in compliance with personal space and i commend you for your cognizance of others existing in this universe.

just do it

no, i'm not back in 82, quoting the nike slogan. i'm here in 09 saying that if you want to blog, just do it. after all, blogging is writing, and we're writers, so what else is there to say?

the past month i've been evaluating the stuff i've written over the past few years. not only do i think i'm writing in a highly competitive subgenre, i started questioning if this was the direction i really wanted my personal writing career to go. my professional writing career enables me to do lots of different kinds of writing: script writing (i say script because these are for short videos and flash presentations), feature writing (magazine articles), web writing (as in web sites), business writing (as in memos, letters, press releases), etc. so, why can't i do lots of different personal writing? well, i believe i can do anything i want but since there are only 24 hours in a day, that's one reason why i can't. another reason is, at least it seems in romance, that you have to be married to one subgenre, or else develop another pen name and be two people. i barely have time to be one person, so being two, three, our four to cover all the writing i'd like to do may be more than i can tackle given other responsibilities and desires.

it also struck me that the majority of what i read is not what i write. i believe that is because of two reasons:

1. i have limited favorite authors in my subgenre, thus i only have a few books of theirs to read per year.
2. i am interested in lots of different stuff - i majored in english - that's what we did - we read a bunch of different stuff.

i'm not at some crossroad trying to figure out what i want to do. oh, gee, is this really for me? of course it is. that is a stupid question i will never ask myself - no matter how many rejections i get, no matter how many "life" obstacles come my way. regardless of my recent evaluation, i will do something. i've been writing since i was 15. i knew at 15 i would be a writer. that's why i studied it in school. that's what i do at work from 8-5, 40 hours a week, sometimes personal writing during my lunch hour, and usually part of my night after work. that's why i belong to a writing organization and am in the best critique group ever. i am never not writing even when i am not at my laptop or there is no pen or paper in sight. i can write anywhere, anytime. it's a choice, something i do - not something i see as something i'd like to do.

a writer either wants it or doesn't. you are either going to do it or just talk about doing it but never get around to doing it. if you are the latter, you aren't a writer. you have to write to be a writer. sorry, that's just how it is. remember the blog where is asked if a person could call themselves a runner if they never ran? the answer is no. you have to practice what you dream. dreams usually never fall into a person's lap. they have to work for it. besides, it wouldn't be any fun if you didn't earn it or learn from it.

so, where i'm at is here. i acknowledge that i am interested in lots of different subjects and lots of different types of writing ... and that is the beauty of it - people change. i've changed. back in the day i wrote a screenplay. maybe i'll write another one. i know how, so why not? for me, it's a matter of time and balancing priorities. my priorities have COMPLETELY changed, but that doesn't mean my love of writing has changed too. i will always write. but what i write, that is what i actually don't want to plan. maybe that's the pantster in me - i like letting writing take me somewhere. i don't want to plan it out. that's also why i avoid "methods" like storyboarding - that takes the fun out of it and it makes the whole writing process unnatural, at least to me. i don't need to do a character outline. if i don't know my characters inside and out, why would i even attempt to write a story? while i am this way, i accept that everyone is different. although i admit that i accept that everyone writes differently, i don't really understand it. i only "get" my way.

so again. i'll continue to write what feels right. and i think that is OK. whether i'm writing contemporary or women's fiction, my voice doesn't change. i'm still me.

if i had to come up with one issue, it would be that what i write doesn't seem to fit into some cookie cutter place. so, finding a home may be a little difficult, but you know what, i'm not worried about that. if it's meant to be, it will be.

so, i say if you want to be a writer, you better write. don't just think about writing, don't make excuses, don't plan it out because i am here to testify, as a former queen of planning, that plans don't always work out, at least not when we want them to. i do think, however, that if writing is something you truly want, as in deep down to the innermost depth of your heart - you will get what you want. but don't wait for it to just fall in your lap. you gotta write.

just do it. don't talk about it. do it. do. it.

life sans adversity is like a book sans conflict

OMG, that alpaca commercial is on AGAIN! what is the deal? does anyone else ever see that on TV?

that's not what this blog is about, but i find that commercial completely jarring.

real blog starts now.

for the past, i don't know, YEAR, i've been wondering how much adversity i must overcome before i "pass" the test. now maybe it really isn't a test. maybe it's karma, maybe it's bad luck, maybe i'm too snarky and this is punishment, maybe it's just something i as a human am not privy to because this "test" is preparing me for something later in my life, or even my afterlife, but for heaven's sake! there are days when i'm like, dang it, can i really pick myself up - AGAIN? and AGAIN? and AGAIN?

the answer is always yes, but i still ask myself that same question - every time. now i know i'm not the only one facing adversity. i know there are people out there going through more difficult things than me. but i'm a writer; i live in my own world a lot of the time.

despite the adversity, here i am - still. still getting drop-kicked in the e-mail and/or mailbox, but i keep trying. i love to write. i want to have a baby. i want the career, the man, EVERYTHING - just like my heroines. so, i'll just keep trying. even if some days it seems so damn hard. even when it seems so much easier for other people. even if other writers get published with stories that include petticoats, fanny packs, and leather deck shoes.

it's obvious i'm supposed to learn something specific while on this journey. well, i know the adversity is worth it. i've learned i'm tough enough to handle it. so what else am i overlooking?

things that make you go hmm ...

and i'm not talking about the 90s song from c+c music factory.

some of these "sights" i saw on our cruise. some i think could really facilitate some dialogue among us. so, i'll be interested to hear your thoughts on ...

leather doesn't make it any better.

flapping running shorts is like a low-cut shirt on a woman - hopefully nothing slips out.
when mosquitoes are bad, you don't care about fashion. maybe the above 2 guys were trying to scare mosquitoes with reverse psychology?
meet my next hero. al paca.
from my hometown newspaper. i don't think i could even dream up a scene like this.

please vote for your favorite.

i got 99 problems and PEACH is no. 1

tip(s) of the day: if you’re going somewhere close to the equator, take bug spray. and always, always take bug spray when you go into the jungle. any jungle. even if you are wearing long sleeves. even if you tight-roll your jeans like 1991. even if a guy named hey-seuss offers you his bug spray. take. your. own.

well, no jerky mishaps like angie, but i did gather plenty of bloggable stuff during our cruise. there were lots of “characters” on the ship. in fact, biscuit started a simple naming system in which to identify these characters—all male characters, by the way. i will save this jewel for another blog.

since this was a “love” cruise, i lovingly decided to leave my laptop at home. this decision made my eye twitch for most of the cruise and leaving it at home in the barb room was almost as sad as leaving my two young sons (my dogs) at their lavish canine resort. nonetheless, i was excited to read a new book. i really enjoyed the first book in this series; you guys probably remember me questioning the white jumpsuit thing, but aside from that, i loved the story. well, the second book … not so much. the author obviously did a lot of research and i learned lots of new things, which I always appreciate—but, because there was so much “research,” i felt like the story suffered. the dialogue was just not up to the caliber as the research and because of that, the whole story seemed off-balance.

then there was the issue i always have issues with: the characters’ fashion.

disclaimer(s): blogger is not a fashionista. blogger is simply opinionated and confused based on the author’s fashion choices for her characters based on the current date and time in which we live—2008.

… O. M. G. biscuit and i would be sitting there in our cabin—yes, on a love cruise and not on the lido deck playing shuffleboard, but him watching the UK vs. Alabama game on TV and me reading this book—and i’d read biscuit the outfit causing confusion and he’d shrug his shoulders and say, “i don’t even know what that is.”

let me back the bus up for a minute. while on this cruise, i saw things i’d never seen before. “characters” that made me stop, analyze, and reflect. characters that wore the things i have serious issues with. let me break this down even further—girls, i saw leather deck shoes in person!!!! in real-time. even when i poked biscuit on the arm and said, “oh my gah, look, LDS,” and he said, “huh?” and i clarified, “leather deck shoes,” and he was like, again, “i don’t even know what that is,” and i was like, “LOAFERS. LEATHER LOAFERS. ON THE LIDO DECK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH FREAKING FLIP FLOPS!”

then he got it.

but back to the book. this author didn’t just dress the heroine in peach, she dressed ALL the female characters in peach. i kid you not. every outfit was peach—for every freaking female character. peach, peach, peach. even their nail polish was peach. first of all, i have nothing against peach. as in the fruit. but the color, as in the peach crayon found in a 64-count box of crayolas, nope. not working in 2008. when i go to stonebriar, i do not see lots of peach-colored attire on the racks. this story was set in a certain large U.S. city that is not located near a beach where one might potentially spot peach-colored attire. and the female characters were all in their early 30s. hello? at least there were no peach-colored sarongs or thongs.

now, it would have been different if the heroine or another female character wore a cute, peach-colored babydoll shirt or maybe a peach-colored sundress or even a peach-colored sweater from ann taylor. but no. we're talking blouses. what is a blouse anyway? that word sounds suspicious to me. i call them shirts. short-sleeve shirts, long-sleeve shirts, sweatshirts. some are dressy shirts, some are T-shirts. some are tank tops. blouse is like using the word caftan instead of a lounge chair or chignon instead of bun.

there was one exception to peach … when the hero was wearing navy slacks (when i say “slacks” out loud it sounds as if i have a crouton lodged in my larynx) AND a navy SILK T-shirt. yes, a SILK T-shirt. when i think of “T-shirts” i think of 100 percent cotton with screen-printed lettering on it, like one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

anyway, it’s not that big of a deal, but the fashion distracted me throughout the story. maybe the author wasn’t even aware that she was using the same color over and over and over and over, but I noticed. i know, i know, i pick up on anal things, but that’s what i do. writers are supposed to be detail-oriented.

let’s look at some acceptable ways to work peach into a story:

she was a lightweight and ordered a dekuyper peach tree schnapps, but when a hot guy walked in, she needed something stronger. like tequila. “hey, bartender, make it a peach margarita instead.”

after working out, jill stopped at the gym’s café and ordered a peach smoothie.

jeremy was clueless. what the hell had he been thinking, offering to cook dinner for natalie. that was easy. he hadn’t been thinking jack—he’d been staring at her body. damn, she had a body. the woman clearly spent a lot of time in the gym. fruit. yeah, he bet she liked healthy stuff, like fruit. strawberries, grapes, peaches. and probably something tropical like papaya or kiwi. maybe he could pull this off after all. jeremy slipped on his nike flip flops, grabbed his keys, and headed to whole foods.

melanie squeezed her eyes after her mother stepped out of her 1991 coupe deville. what in the hell is my mother wearing? a peach moo-moo with kitty cats? i gave her a generous gift card to talbots. why, mother? why? you're meeting my boyfriend for the first time today and now he'll assume this is what i will look like in 30 years! ugh.

my great-grandmother loved that movie, a league of their own. back in the day, she was a rockford peach.

kate turned up the volume on her ipod when prince came on. peach. awesome song. the next song that came on had her rocking out to the steve miller band … you’re the cutest thing that i ever did see, i really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree …

i rest my case.

next time you go to victoria’s secret, i challenge you to ask an associate to show you a bra or teddy (not a bear) in peach. if she whips one out of the drawer in zero to three seconds, i stand corrected on peach being a universally accepted, fashionable color in 2008. however, if the associate cocks her head and looks confused, FACE!

everyone can run

i was glued to the olympics this year. my heart went out to lolo jones when she clipped that last hurdle. i totally understood how she felt in that moment when she fought to get across the finish line. she'd spent four years of her life preparing for a race that lasted 10 seconds. four years. ten seconds. her dream was crushed - just like that.

as i watched track event after track event, the runners made it look so easy because come on, how hard is it to run? most of us can - it's really just a faster version of walking, so how hard is it really to do the 100 meter dash - right? could i run the 100 meter dash? sure. could i run it in less than 30 seconds and without injuring a hamstring? doubtful. the point is yes, i could run it, but it is not my expertise and no coach would ever recruit me to be on the olympic team.

the same concept can be applied to writing romance. we all hear the flack about the genre we love and how "anyone" can whip out one of those little harlequins. ok, those of us on the inside of the romance genre know that is just tomfoolery coming out of their mouths because harlequin is a complicated beast. and if harlequin is complicated then getting published by a NY publisher is a combination of astrophysics and advanced calculus.

publishing a book is NOT easy. anyone can write a book, but not everyone can publish one.

this is what has been on my mind lately. it disturbs me that people think once you have written a book it should be a piece of cake to get it published. we all know that is not true. and, IMO, trying to get published in romance is more difficult than any other type of genre or type of writing. it's tremendously subjective and we are competing with thousands and thousands of writers for one of a few limited spots with a publisher. people who don't read romance - people who have some "false image" of romance don't get what we're trying to accomplish here. people say to me, "well, can't you just try to publish an article in some magazine," or "have you ever heard of something called self-publishing?"

yes, i believe i could publish an article in a magazine - if i switched gears to feature writing. publishing in a magazine requires a different type of writing style, a different type of marketing approach, and i am not interested in doing that at this time. and self-publishing - one of my favorite women's fiction authors started out that way, but that doesn't mean it's right for me. in fact, in our genre we are basically told self-publishing is career suicide. and that's why we're trying to publish a book - because we want a career in romance writing. writing is like any other profession - there are different types of writing. but romance writing is not like any other type of writing. i know most people just don't understand this because they aren't as intimately involved with it as we are, but it bugs me when they just think it should be as easy as pushing that big red EASY button at staples.

maybe romance writers do live in their own universe, but i'm happy where i live and i'll continue to pursue publishing in romance. when people start trying to give me advice about how to publish "faster," i'll listen, but in my head i'll know the truth. that it's not easy to publish, just like it is not easy to run the 100 meter dash. especially when there are lots of hurdles a long the way.

if you can feel me on this, holler.

here's some positive media attention-FACE!

what man wouldn't adore a small-town girl

who can bait her own hook and catch a winner like this?

i love it. ammo shots instead of glamour shots!

bikers for palin.

good-looking hero. hot, smart, trailblazing, assertive, multitasking heroine.

and, palin's got a degree in journalism, which means she's got dang good grammar skills.

WOMEN REPRESENT

this is NOT an official endorsement of The Spanksters. the comments listed above reflect the opinion of the author only.

are you in style?

i was going to blog about myriad things tonight 'cause i've got a lot on my mind that i could ramble on about, but the spanksters gave me some good comments that sparked a topic i think worthy of mentioning.

and the topic is ... style.

huh, you ask? what does that even mean? in simple terms, it means picking a style and being consistent with forms of words throughout your story.

for example, more than one person put a hyphen on this word for me: pre-game. i wrote it one word: pregame. both are correct, but the style i adhere to requires it to be one word. in fact, it advises against hyphenating most prefixes, so that's why i didn't. i totally appreciate that everyone was reading so closely to mark that. it shows we are fantastic, detail-oriented critique partners. insert: group hug.

is anyone wrong though for hyphenating or not hyphenating? it depends, but really it's just a matter of choice. and there are lots of choices in the english language, and then there are some set rules you just don't break. personally, i choose not to hyphenate prefixes unless they precede a proper noun. does that mean a copy editor who might edit my story one day will also adhere to the same style as me? not necessarily. the most important thing is not which style you use. it's consistency. pick a style and adhere to it at all times. i mean, if you hyphenate a word on page 5, gosh, YES, you have to hyphenate it on page 242.

what are some of the style guides out there?

chicago manual of style
apa
ap style (this is what i use)
mla
etc.

i use ap because that's what i know and what i've always used at work. and although i am largely faithful to ap, i still have chosen to go rogue on a few things. such as serial commas. i believe serial commas help avoid ambiguity, so i use them although ap does not.

mla is more for research papers and stuff - you probably used it in your college english class. also, lots of publications, like the new york times, have their own individual style guide.

you too can have your own style guide - just pick what works for you and make sure it at least adheres to one of the dictionaries. there are boocoo books out there on craft and whatnot, but i recommend strunk and white's the elements of style. this is a tiny, thin book that gives straightforward advice on things that we usually forget, like farther/further. farther means distance; further refers to time or quantity. and always, if in doubt, check the dictionary. seriously. i am on www.m-w.com countless times a day. partly because i'm anal. partly because i like being able to tell people who question me to go check the dictionary. and lastly because it's just what writers should be doing.

that is all. if you found this blog helpful, press a. if you thought it sucked A, press b. if you enjoy my critical rants and raves, press c. if you'd rather i blog about hot guys, press d. if you have no opinion and don't give a flip one way or the other, just close out of IE or Firefox.

uh, i forgot?

have you ever forgotten your characters' names? i don't mean the H & H. i mean subcharacters (but i suppose it could happen to the stars too). well, it happened to me this weekend. so, i think i'm not only going to have to keep a legend of my chapters, but a list of character names.

no, i'm not writing a story about a carnival or anything. but, i am heavier on subplot; thus, more subcharacters to keep track of. i wish they could wear name tags. hmm, maybe i could make paper dolls of them? OMG - then i could totally act out the scenes. wait a minute - BEST IDEA EVER! i totally have all my barbies from when i was little. oh yes, i am about to start playing romance. i think i should copyright that idea because it's so awesome.

i am not even joking.

so, names. have you ever changed a character name like halfway through your story? that also happened to me this weekend. there's this one subchick who makes an early appearance, and a man who makes a later appearance, and their names are too similar ... so i decided to change the chick's name. yet, now i find myself still liking the chick's writer-given name and don't like her new substitute name, so, is it bad to have two similar names in a story? i mean they both start with the same letter and end in the same consonant. i had advice from a PAN one time that said not to even begin two different names in the same story with the same letter. i don't know that i agree with that, but i try to be more conscious of it when naming my characters.

i mean, like if i had ethan and nathan, that would be confusing. and if i had casey and cassie, that would be lyrical, but still confusing. and if i had morgan and logan - see, the ending part is too similar.

to prove how sometimes we just need to talk these things through with each other, i think i just came up with another solution. i'm going to give the chick a nickname made out of her original, writer-given name.

whew.

so, since i figured it out, i'd like to know if anyone else OCDs over little details like this. come on, put on your name tag and step forward. there will be no spanking this time. unless you request that offline.

do somethin' while you're doin' nothin'

from uncle rico's lips to your eyes.

this is my advice for what to do when you:

a.) have a lack of motivation to write

b.) have life interruptions that prevent you from writing

c.) get stuck with a scene, chapter, or conflict

do somethin' while you're doin' nothin'.

um, what does that mean?

it means when you're fixing dinner, sorting laundry, swiffering the floor - you can still be writing. yeah right ... how do you figure that? no, there isn't a laptop that will hang around your neck so you can type as if it were a guitar keyboard. you don't need a laptop to write. you don't even need a pen and paper. you just need your creative little head!

example. this weekend biscuit and i went to the rangers game. now, i enjoy baseball, going to the games, watching all the people (getting great character ideas). but, by about the fourth inning i'm usually ready to go. however, i made it to the seventh inning this weekend! how? because as i stared at the field (and the cute little - tight - pants ball players wear), i was writing scenes in my head. i was plotting, thinking of how/where i could interject more conflict. when i sit down at my laptop i want to maximize my writing time, so i dang well better know what i want to say beforehand.

so, here are some examples of when you could do somethin' while you're doin' nothin':

1. driving to work

2. watching sports with your boo

3. walking your dog

see, there're lots of opportunities every day where you can get some writing done, even if you're not sitting at your designated writing space.

just don't live too much back in 82.

subplot

i've been mulling this one over for quite some time. like, is subplot a necessity? does subplot really add value? does subplot subtract from the plot?

i admit, some books i read i skip right over subplot because i'm more interested in the heroine and hero. i don't want a long delay for seeing what happens next with the two characters i care about the most.

now, i think that if the subcharacters impact the main characters directly, then yes, they are valuable. but, if it's just some unrelated people that have little to do with the h & h - the substory is simply running parallel to the main one - then chances are, i don't give a flip.

so, with the story i'm working on i had to think this through because i'm not a big subplot person - because i'm not a big subplot reader. this time i made myself add in this sub-bitch who is going to stir up some drama, or rather, conflict. but sub-bitch directly impacts my h & h and she'll go on a journey/transformation of her own.

i think it's good to do something out of your comfort zone in regard to writing. i realized i just needed to write subcharacters that the reader will care about almost as much as they will my h & h. and although it's hard to care about a sub-bitch, i think by the end the reader will (hopefully) feel she added value rather than took away from the time it took to read about her.

thoughts on subplots, subcharacters? thumbs up, thumbs down? like 'em, hate 'em? take 'em or leave 'em? must have, who cares?

drop and give me twenty!

it's not about the paper.

it's not about the ice.

and it's definitely not about the glam.

it's about

AUTHORITY.

POWER.

CONFIDENCE.

damn. i'm talking about my kind of hero. why would a chick sweat a playah? a playah takes orders from the coach. i want the man who's in control. yeah, that's hot. the playah prances around on the field, does as he's told, unless he's rebellious, then he sits on the bench for a while and repeats the process. the coach, damn, bosses everyone around. playahs, assistant coaches, refs. take the above picture, for example. there are at least 30 playahs, 200+pound playahs listening to the coach. he's in charge. some of those guys are twice his size, but he's still in charge. yeah, that's really hot. authority, power, confidence. hero musts for me. oh yeah, the hero has to be HOT too. but, HOT is different for everyone. i personally have a thing for stocky jocks. and of course, leos. other chicks like tall dudes, smart dudes, bad-ass dudes. the cool thing about writing is - we're in CONTROL! we get to be the coach of all our characters. including the men.

so, what's your description of a HOT hero?

sharing a man - wrong. reading a romance - right.

i have to say i’m a little fascinated by the whole polygamy thing going on south of us. it blows my mind that these chicks have no clue of what’s going on outside walnut grove. i certainly don’t mean that in a taunting way. they just don’t know anything other than what they’ve been taught. seriously, imagine if this was all you’d ever been exposed to?

now, if the table was reversed and the chick got to have multiple husbands, this place might be somewhere we all might want to visit. for research purposes only, right, chellie?

anyway, here’s what i propose: let’s send these chicks some romance novels. let’s start with a harlequin american or maybe an inspirational, then we can work our way up to a single title. the point is, these chicks need to see that a relationship is between two people—one man and one woman—only. and the best place to see that is in a romance novel.

can I get a spank that?

infatuation

remember that rod stewart song from the 80s? i bet you're rockin' out just thinkin' about it. but that's not what this blog is about. it's about a book that i'm totally infatuated with, but it's turning to love - right now - i feel it. this book was absolutely enchanting. now that's not a word i use everyday, kind of like petticoat, but enchanting seems quite the appropriate adjective for how i felt about this book. the genre - women's fiction, which to me is the same as a romance, just sans happy ending - is a genre i read as much as romance and love as much as romance, but for different reasons. there are totally different emotions evoked from women's fiction than are from romance. and the journey is sometimes a little more ... whoa, holy crap, that's like real life! and man, women's fiction can totally get away with more telling and less dialogue. but it worked for this book. after all, it is storyTELLING. not storySHOWING.

ah, but this book ... it was one that i finished sunday afternoon yet i'm still thinking about it. that's how you know when a book is really, really good. because you continue analyzing it, wondering more about the characters' motives. it was like most of the stories i remember from college - the ones that make you think - hard. and i don't mean think, hmm, that was so interesting. no, it makes you think about these characters who aren't real, but came alive during the story - so much that you wanted to hang out with them and ask them a million questions. and makes you think because you end up questioning yourself, like what would i have done if i'd been in her situation. gosh, it actually gives me the chills. and being the critic i am, that doesn't happen with every book i read. in fact, my forehead did not crease one time, but i did flag one page when one of the characters used the 'f' word because i thought it was brilliantly placed and character-appropriate. and there were no questionable fashion choices or bizarre jargon. it was superior work. needless to say, it was a bestseller, which i normally don't even read. i guess as a struggling artist, i tend to support other struggling artists, but i was intrigued, infatuated, then fell in love.

ah, the book! one of the characters was so dimensional. and gosh, i haven't even made up my mind on the ending yet. i'm still trying to decide what i think about it. that is a damn good book to make me think this much and this deeply and wonder which way the author wants me to take it. but i learned that a reader will never know how the author intended a person to read it - that's the beauty of it. the art of it. that's exactly what a story should do: give each individual reader the opportunity to get something unique out of it. something that speaks to them.

so, i have added a new book to my favorites. and i know it's one of my favorites because i could pick it up and read it again, which i will probably likely do again soon. dang, it was good. i feel like the critic has been validated. amen.

post-DID

ahhh, biscuit (leos love praise). then he chased roses with a steak dinner (taurus women like to eat good food). then afterwards, i passed out on the couch as we watched LOTR for the hundredth time. biscuit didn't like that too much - me passing out - but i know it's just because we didn't get to spend much time together this weekend. however, DID was fantastic. i was worn out when i got home and it made me wonder how we did rwa last year ... for days! i also thought the workshops were almost better than some of the ones at national. perhaps it was just there weren't as many distracting questions as rwa? or maybe it was just on a smaller, more intimate scale?

on the PRO loop, they were talking about kresley cole's workshop - the sophomore stumble: eight out of 10 authors who get a first contract don't get a second one. wow. it just proves that once you make the first sale, the work is not done - it's just beginning. writing is not for the lazy or the weak. it's for those who can persevere and keep going, even when it gets tough. even when rejection comes and haters try to psyche you out.

i think for me, a profound thing that was perhaps just reiterated (by lori foster) is that we (romance writers) are the only ones who get each other. not our biscuits, not our nonwriting friends. fellow writers only. publishing a book is so much more than having good grammatical skills or a kick-ass idea. it's all freaking subjective. like lf said, it's got a lot to do with luck.

another thing that was reiterated for the gazillionth time is that each writer just has to do what's right for them. PANs, editors, agents all share helpful information that we learn from, but you have to take what works for you and what doesn't. what works for one author may not work for someone else. for example, plotting. not all authors plot. that doesn't mean it's wrong. i think the most important thing to remember is to do whatever it takes to keep the writing fun. if it's not fun then why do it?

anyway, i am happy to be associated with the spanksters. we're professional, we're focused, we're hot. well, we are. that was on the PRO loop too - never underestimate your worth.

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard ...

but my biscuit is not about to share.

reality shows where at least 20 chicks are competing for one man make me wanna gag. i'm talkin' 'bout 20 girls all kissing/hooking up with one man. the germ factor is enough to make my tummy hurt. gross!

why do i care if hoochies wanna share germs and look like dipsticks on national television for riding the wambulance over some dude who is just in it for the ego factor? aside from the fact that 1 in 4 teenage girls in the united states have an std, i care because romance should NOT get the shaft - EVER!

romance promotes monogamous relationships where two people care about each other. and yeah, romance novels have sex, sometimes lots and lots of sex, but you better believe it's between two people, not one guy and 20 girls, and those two people are not just in it for the physical aspect. it's about how they are both individually stronger because of each other. and they've gone on some journey to discover some higher realization about themselves or the other person. now i know some erotica in the market sometimes invovles more than two people, but i'm talkin' pacifically (got ya) 'bout the kind of romance the spanksters read and write.

anyway. these kinds of shows plaster a thelma harper grimace on my face. i just think women need to have more self-value, feel more self-worth, and not give all their goodies away. save your milkshake for one man!

what about you? would you want 19 other girls spankin' your biscuit?

mondays still suck

it's another snarkalicious monday, and i'm actually in a fired-up mood to blog about several things that just antagonize the bull in me, but it's getting late and i need to write. and revise. and re-read. i am anticipating a quiet blog week from most of the spanksters as we continue to prepare for DID.

taurus, out.

the most irresistible brown eyes i've ever seen ...

are on my basset hound, shakes (short for shakespeare). today is his 8th birthday. happy birthday, lil’ biscuit.

i’ve never been much of an eye person—you know, some people totally fall for blue eyes, but eye color or eyes in general have never really done it for me. my characters are much more acute to the beauty and sensuality of eyes than i am. and that’s cool. that’s why i write romance. so i can make stuff up and have a happy ending.

it’s fun to look through the eyes of my heroine and write through her POV what draws her to the hero, and vice versa. writing about how his brown eyes feel on her skin—not too much skin—but just enough to entice his imagination, makes me wonder … hmm … why didn’t I think about that kind of stuff when xxxx xxxxxxxx was checking me out while I xxxxxx at xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxx? damn, he was xxx. he said xxxx to me all the time. he talked about my xxxxx and my xxx then he’d xxxx me on the xxx with a xxxxx.

sorry, that was kind of fun—like a fill in the blank romance!

anyway, you know who I think has the most irresistible eyes now, so it's your turn to share. or, you can try to fill in the blanks:)

snarky spankster

garfield's snarky, which is how i tend to be on mondays. i did not adjust well to the time change - i know, i know - it's not like i traveled to britain or something and now i have jet lag, but man, it felt like turbo, i-flew-around-the-globe jet lag this morning - fo' sho.

i've come to realize that mondays are so difficult because sundays are big writing days for me. that means on monday i'm coming back to reality after having been immersed in an emotional abyss called christie's imagination. and, writing third person, i have spent an entire day pretending i am at least two different characters. chase that with saying au revoir to my biscuit, and i'm snarkalicious to the tenth power.

but being snarky isn't a bad thing, IMO. in fact, i enjoy reading and writing about snarky characters. and, when i'm around other real-life snarky people, i laugh and laugh and laugh - and totally relate.

can i see some jazz hands for all the snarky people lovin' some spankster blogs? no, don't do that. only people who wear petticoats with leather deck shoes do jazz hands.

snarky, out.